Ten Signs Your College-Aged Kid May Be in Emotional Distress

About six in ten college students complain about being stressed – and that number is even higher in the first and last years of school. Between the schoolwork, the anxiety of making new friends and the separation from family and friends, it’s not surprising that many kids feel overwhelmed.

Most kids adjust with just a few bumps. But for some, the usual college stressors take a much higher toll. According to the Jed Foundation, whose mission is to prevent suicide and reduce emotional distress among young adults, almost half of all college students report being so stressed in the last semester that they couldn’t get any work done. One in ten college students have seriously considered suicide.

Those are frightening statistics for any parent, but parents whose children are away at school may feel even more helpless than most. Luckily, even when you don’t see your child every day, you can pick up warning signals that suggest your son or daughter may be having more trouble adjusting to college life than most.

1. Slipping grades
Academic problems are often the first sign that a college student may be having trouble dealing with college life. Unfortunately, you may only know about those problems if your son or daughter talks to you about having difficulty in classes or trouble keeping up with work. At many colleges, your child has to grant permission for you to see his grades. Your best bet is to keep the lines of communication open enough that you can ask how things are going.

2. Changes in sleep patterns or eating habits
Again, these may be difficult to spot if your child is away at school, but you may pick up hints in your conversations with him or her. Pay attention to complaints about not being able to sleep, or being constantly tired. If you hear something that concerns you, try to follow up. Even a casual mention that lots of college kids complain about stress can open a conversational lifeline.

3. Mood swings and being overly emotional
If your child suddenly seems to be overly emotional, take it seriously. Being homesick isn’t unusual, but if your son or daughter seems to be constantly unhappy or angry, it may be time to suggest a talk with a campus counselor.

4. Physical symptoms
Frequent headaches and stomach aches often signal emotional stresses. If every phone call seems to bring another report of not feeling well, suggest a visit to the school clinic. A doctor can rule out physical causes and evaluate the risk of stress or emotional problems. Campus medical practitioners get special training that helps them recognize those symptoms.

5. Expressed anxiety, worry or loneliness
Sixty-three percent of college students say that they’d turn to their families first if they were in emotional distress. If your child tells you that he’s lonely or complains about feeling stressed over everyday things, acknowledge it as a request for help and talk to him about ways to deal with those emotions.

6. Withdrawing from friends and family, disinterest in things they used to enjoy
Loss of interest in activities that were once enjoyable is one of the major warning signs of depression. If your child responds to news about friends or activities she once enjoyed with offhand comments like “whatever” or “who cares?” it may be a danger signal.

7. Contact from the school
If the school contacts you with concerns, take it very seriously. Most colleges will make every attempt to help students cope without alerting parents. If someone from the school contacts you about your child acting out, causing disturbances or otherwise showing signs of emotional distress, you can be sure that they have serious concerns.

8. Expressing hopelessness, guilt or worthlessness
If your child talks about feeling hopeless or useless, or frequently puts themselves down, it could be a warning signal of depression.

9. Risky behaviors
Engaging in risky behaviors, such as unprotected sex or excessive use of drugs and alcohol often hint that a college student is having trouble coping with the freedom and accompanying stresses of college life.

10. Talk of suicide or harming oneself
If your child talks about wishing he were dead or about harming himself, you’ll need to get help immediately. Contact the school at once if your child is away at school, and if he’s close by, immediately take action locally.

Becoming overwhelmed by stress can be a problem for anyone, but when it happens, it needs to be addressed. But luckily there are signals that parents can look for. Pay close attention to your child, and if they exhibit any of these signs, take action immediately. In the case of emotional distress in a young adult, it’s better to be safe than sorry.